The Solianos Project - Meaning Of Tudung Periuk

Something completely different. Leslie from popopmusic asked me the meaning of the song Tudung Periuk. I will venture a guess. I am intimately involved in the production of The Solianos' album Pusaka which is close to my heart. Stumbled in life and somehow end up as an "executive producer" of the album. The Solianos have been singing for over 30 years and this is their first album, unbelievable. Les and I thought they must do an album of Malay songs, not English (even when that is their main repertoire) because their musicality and 5 part harmonies have never been imparted so brilliantly into Malay songs.


The album is going to be great, I think, because:

1. the arrangement by salvador guerzo
2. tricia's (lead vocal) honey-toasted and sultry voice
3. the choice of songs and how great each song is sung and arranged
4. the fabulous recording (world-class audiophile standards)
5,and most importantly, the superb musicality of the music! (almost everyone agreed on this)

Les played some of the unfinished songs at a listening party, these were some of their immediate responses...

"wow! malaysia can produce a record like this??"

"i would buy this album even with just one good song but all your songs are so great!"


"ador's arrangement is definitely world-class!"

"the recording (from the ark studio) is the best of all your 4 albums; again, world-class!"

"this female lead vocalist is amazing!"
This is the original selected songlist. Too bad, my favourite Sheila Majid's song Gerimis Semalam was taken out as The Solianos said they could not really add to the song, and that room for harmonies and improvisations were limited. But instead we have replaced it with Freedom's Mulanya Di Sini.

I will try to get the finished track of Tudung Periuk for all to listen soon. Its magical.


---------------------------

Three cheers for pop pop music!

Solianos' "Tudung Periuk" - a yet-unreleased single from the forth-coming album "Pusaka" - has been selected by the panel to be included in another compilation album issued by one big Hi-Fi dealer in Taiwan for the upcoming TAA Hi-Fi show. The panel loves the melody and harmony of the song! See, we told you, we told you this is a great song! ;-)

But they have one tough question for us: what is the song about?

We don't know either! Here's the lyrics of the song.....

Tudung periuk

Lid of the pot

Tudung periuk, pandai menari

Lid of the pot dances well

Menarilah lagu, putera mahkota

Dance of the son of the crown prince

Kain yang buruk

The rag

Kain yang buruk berikan kami

The rag give it to us

Buat menyapu

To wipe

Buat menyapu si air mata

To wipe the tears

Any volunteers to decipher the hidden meaning behind the song? You must be old enough to know this song, to start with!

In any case, you guys should be proud that a Malay song has unprecedentedly made it into Taiwan!

leslie@poppop

----------------------

Leslie,


The original lyrics was not "anak Putera Mahkota" but rather "anak Raja Melaka", when we were still on good terms I guess.


Tudung periuk tudung periuk pandailah menari
Permainan anak permainan anak Raja Malaka
Kain yang buruk kain yang buruk berikan kami
Untuk menyapu untuk menyapu si air mata
Kain yang buruk kain yang buruk berikan kami
Untuk menyapu untuk menyapu si air mata

Tudung periuk tudung periuk pandailah berdendang
Pandai berdendang pandai berdendang lagu seberang
Barang yang buruk barang yang buruk tak 'kan dipandang
Dijual tidak dijual tidak dibeli orang
Barang yang buruk barang yang buruk tak 'kan dipandang
Dijual tidak dijual tidak dibeli orang

We know it as the song sung in P Ramlee's SUMPAH SEMERAH PADI together with Saloma. There is a meaning to the song even though most would shrug their shoulders. Its a song sung to the kids and how they need to grow up being responsible, being willingness to take up responsibility. Tudung periuk means family leadership, the shield of the family I guess. Pandai menari means being clever and resourceful. Mainan putera mahkota does not mean toys but rather the demands of daily life. Anak raja melaka or putera mahkota does not mean royalty but rather the young ones, the new generation.

Kain yang buruk di berikan kami, in its original form its ditinggalkan kami (more poignant), is the need to be wary, the need to be protective of their heritage or family name and not to bring shame or tears to the family. Menyapu air mata, the cloth we gave you to wipe your tears is to make sure that you eat your bitterness, rally through life's difficulties and be strong.

Its an educational song/lullaby sung by probably the grandmas/mums to their grandkids/children.

Equity Strategy 2H 2010 & Asset Class Returns As At end-June 2010

Just passed the halfway mark. REITs finally took a hit, is this the beginning of the double dip. Do I believe in the double dip, yes of course. Only that the dip will be more restrained, not a significant or prolonged dip. Things move in cycles and like pendulums. Share prices are the same, they will sing to one side, over swing a bit and the correct. This is because the data are but collection of human behaviour, and masses will never react perfectly. They will chase a share price that is running until it overshoots, and attract sellers to come in. When the balance shifts to the other side, you will see it overshooting on the downside again.


June was another rough month for risky assets, although the losses were considerably deeper with U.S. stocks from a dollar-based return perspective. REITs also took a hit: for the first time since the opening months of 2009, real estate securities dropped by more than 5% for the second month running.

Bonds held up well in June. This is probably due to the threat of deflation taking a toll on investor sentiment, the safety of fixed-income (even at unusually low yields) attracted capital flows last month like moths to a flame.

US equity took the hardest hit in June. Was this an adjustment to the European crisis and the Euro crisis? Probably. Was it trying to discount a flattening of recovery, probably. Was it due to funds closing their books and squaring off positions and waiting for the right levels to reloan in 2H, absolutely.

070110a.GIF

But what we all should be focusing at is the YTD figures. Commodities are down by nearly 10% and foreign developed stocks have retreated by more than 13% in dollar terms—the steepest decline for the major asset classes on a year-to-date basis through June’s close. There has been some flight to reserve currency assets, but US equity did follow suit, much of its YTD losses came in the month of June alone.

So we are giving back all gains this year and more. Is this a risk aversion period? I think the sell in May rang true and it coincided with the Greek, Hungarian and Portuguese malaise, followed by the weakening Euro, which threatened demand for exports from the rest of the world.



China had to do a lot of braking in its domestic economy and the Shanghai index reflected that for the past 3 months. Now they have to contend with pressures to have a stronger yuan as well.

Some may cite the fact that many governments have piled on too much debt and that will come back to haunt us. Well yes, but not so soon. No one is going to put a gun to the US and ask them to lower their debts within the next couple of years. While the same seems to be happening in Europe, it is mainly a sovereign issue not a corporate issue.

We are actually still in the midst of a newly created liquidity bubble. Thanks to Bernanke and many of the other governments, we have printed and poured too much liquidity into the global financial system. We are also locked in with globally benign interest rates. Tell me what do the above ingredients make?

But why the recent pullback. Well, even when you are driving a Porsche, you are limited to how far and fast you can go if there is a traffic jam. Be sure, we have a highly powered underlying liquidity revving its engines. We just need the traffic to clear up a bit: Euro steadying a bit; unemployment growth flattening out but not down trending aggressively; corporates continuing to put out good quarterlies; etc.

I have changed my views on the Euro, I think it will stablise here 1.25-1.30 and not go any closer to 1.00 to the USD. Herein lies the key. The Euro crisis may have blighted our views too much. Look closer, most of Europe's top companies are benefiting strongly overall. We missed the picture that this is more a sovereign thing. Many of the companies are already getting an 18%-20% boost in receipts (added competitiveness) thanks to the weaker Euro - we all know that that is more than double the net margins of most companies.



European industrial production actually rose 0.8% in April much better than the average forecast of 0.5%. One of the better leading indicators of economic activity is cargo carriers, Fedex's recently reported that Europe is seeing solid activity, very much different from the picture the media would have us believe.

China may be the weak link in 2H. In addition to the yuan, the high interest rates, the yet to subside property bubble, we now have a snowballing labour issue. The Honda-Foxconn developments should ensure a cascading and rippling effect on all labour wage demands across China, watch it balloon in the coming weeks.

I think US equity and emerging markets equity will be quite positive for most of 2H2010. I see the Dow testing 11,500 and the FBMKLCI testing 1,450 before the year is over.

You're The Yuan That I Want

Hmmm, people are hoarding yuan. Even though the rise after recent developments have been tepid, chances are that Beijing will eventually relent and we should at least see the yuan appreciate a minimum of 5% before year end.


The Standard HK / Friday, July 02, 2010



Sorry, no yuan! That's the message from several Hong Kong money changers as speculators scramble to stock up in anticipation of the currency rising further.

A local bank manager is not surprised that yuan stocks have ran out as supply is tight.

"People are banking on reports that the United States is pressing for a 10 percent yuan appreciation, despite Beijing saying any appreciation will be gradual," he told The Standard on condition of anonymity. "People want to make a fast buck since interest in the Hong Kong dollar is low. So the yuan is a sure bet for anybody."

A source at the Hong Kong Monetary Authority said the shortage at money changing counters could be due to another factor - hoarding.

"Money changers are expecting the yuan to appreciate faster and sooner, and so they are holding on to their stocks," the source said.

"The fact that there is no cap on conversions to yuan has put them a difficult position in both quoting and selling of the currency.

"They obviously do not want to sell large amounts of yuan."

Local banks have confirmed they have an unlimited supply of yuan, which they get directly from the mainland central bank, the People's Bank of China.

Yesterday's exchange rate was 864 yuan for HK$1,000 - two dollars lower than on Tuesday, when speculation on possible appreciation was at its highest.

But people are continuing to snap up the yuan, a supervisor at the Hui's Brothers foreign exchange company in Wan Chai said.

"The stronge

r the yuan, the bigger the demand," he said, adding that the situation will remain the same for another week.

The supply from the mainland, Shenzhen in particular, has been low since the opening of the G20 summit last week, he added.

A money-changing agent in Shenzhen confirmed supply to Hong Kong is running low as most people hold on to the yuan thinking it will appreciate further.

On Lockhart Road, money changers at Hang Fung Foreign Remittance asked a reporter from The Standard to return today when asked to sell 10,000 yuan.

Another money changer near the Wan Chai MTR station said it had run out of yuan for the day. "The stronger the currency, the keener the demand," he added.

On June 19, just ahead of the G20 summit in Toronto, Canada, the People's Bank of China announced it will further reform the yuan exchange rate regime to make it more flexible.

The decision has been welcomed by many nations and organizations, including the International Monetary Fund.

Zhang Tao, international department director with the People's Bank, said the reform of the yuan exchange rate regime will help restructure the nation's economy and promote all- around sustainable and balanced growth.

"In doing so, we can guide resources to the services sector and boost our internal demand, to promote industrial upgrading and the transformation of the economic growth pattern," Zhang said.

The stability of the yuan exchange rate played a significant role in mitigating the impact of the 2008 financial crisis on the mainland as other currencies, including the US dollar, depreciated.

A senior official of the People's Bank said further yuan exchange rate reform can help Beijing work closely with its partners in the long term for mutual benefit and further development.

My All Time Fav Canto-Series

Now for something completely different. I don't know where I find the time but I do watch a lot of Canto-series from TVB. Below are my all time top 4:

The best of the lot has to be The Greed of Man. Though some may say I like it because it involves the stock market as a theme, but its the characters, the amazing story line and the fantastic acting. Vivian Chow, Adam Cheng and Lau Cheng Wan have never acted better. The supporting cast were excellent as well. The story, spanning three decades from the 1970s to the 1990s in Hong Kong and Taiwan, addresses various social and financial phenomena of the times, from violence in triad criminal organizations to corruption in the HKSE. The series even span the "Ting Hai" effect, whereby when a series comes out starring Adam Cheng, the stock market is bound to collapse within weeks, and that has proven true right through the 90s, amazing.

The Greed Of Man Hong Kong TVB Drama Series DVDs


The Final Combat comes in third and its all due to Stephen Chow Sing Chi. In this olden martial arts series, Stephen shines as the joker, using "present day phrases and humour" in an odd setting.

The Final Combat Hong Kong TVB Drama Series DVDs


This was probably not on everybody's short list. The Dance of Passion had a great cast and unique setting in the desert but it was not everyone's cup of tea. Gigi Lai and Bowie Lam were the standout characters.

Dance of Passion Hong Kong TVB Drama Series DVDs

The Edge of Righteousness would have been a close second next to The Greed of Man. Dicky Cheung was great but Alex Man was even better, even in the end you do not know if he was crazy or just very passionate and righteous. The love triangle between Dicky, Monica Chan and Chu Yan was exceptionally well drawn out. An amazing series.


Chicken Shit Bid From Fortis



Fortis came up with the stupid counter bid of S$3.80 which is soooo much higher than Khazanah's $3.78 bid for Parkway Holdings.

You know how it is that you can tell the entire character and makeup of someone by just a small sum of money.

Fortis has revealed their strategy for all to see with its stupid bid:


- its a slightly higher bid as I am waiting for better offers, or I am buying time for some other parties to make me a better offer


- seriously, I don't want to be running or owning Parkway for the long run


- I am trying to frustrate Khazanah so that they will pay me S$3.90 to get me out


Actually, if I was Khazanah, I would call Fortis' bluff and say "yours". Let them own Parkway - remember the whole attraction of Parkway is in its expansion into Malaysia. Let's just see how attractive Parkway will be under Fortis. What do you think will happen with their relations with Pantai after that? Do you think Parkway will be able to expand so easily into Malaysia after ousting Khazanah (or rather, frustrating Khazanah).


Woooiii, Fortis, close your mouth and just accept the bid la. First time dealing in Southeast Asia, izzit!! If you are serious about getting Parkway, bid like a man, not chicken shit like that.


Well, Khazanah is dealing with Malvinder and Shivinder Singh, and they are not your normal conservative businessmen. Both were founders of Ranbaxy Pharamaceuticals, and they sold the company to Dai-ichi Sankyo. Ask Dai-ichi Sankyo about Ranbaxy now, they would be shaking their heads and taking out their small seppuku swords.


In 2008, Daiichi Sankyo bought a 63.9 percent stake, including the founders' entire stake, in Ranbaxy, aiming to take advantage of rising demand for generic drugs. But the stake lost more than two thirds of its value by the end of last financial year primarily hit by the weak rupee and the U.S. FDA ban. Ranbaxy forecast a loss of $150 million in 2009, on a 9 percent fall in sales to $1.4 billion.

Within a short amount of time the Japanese had to remove Malvinder, who was asked to stay as chairman and CEO of Ranbaxy. Within a short period of time following the sale,
Ranbaxy has been hit by a U.S. ban on some products for alleged falsification of data, and by foreign exchange hedges being hit by a weaker rupee.

So, Khazanah, beware as you are dealing with the two brothers with a $3bn war chest, but be prepared to walk away. There is not just ONE route to your destination for healthcare industry. Do not be cowed into over paying for Parkway, knowing full well that the attraction of Parkway is in leveraging the company into Malaysia and then beyond. Without Khazanah "strategic policies" Parkway won't be as attractive. Let the brothers get it at $3.80 and then they will have to sell back to you at $3.20 within 2 years.
They only came in the company less than 4 months back and is obviously looking for a quick trade - give it to them and see what they can do with it (I know, find another sucker Japanese company to buy Parkway).


riya-sen2 by boy kris.

By pitching a higher offer, Fortis aims to prevent Khazanah from taking over Asia's biggest hospital group which runs 16 hospitals.


SINGAPORE/NEW DELHI: India's Fortis Healthcare and its founding family launched a bid valuing Singapore hospital operator Parkway Holdings at $3.1 billion (RM10 billion), topping a rival offer by Malaysian state fund Khazanah Nasional Bhd.

Fortis, which controls just over 25 per cent of Parkway, had intended to build a controlling stake in the firm before Khazanah made a surprise US$835 million (RM2.7 billion) partial offer in May to lift its stake to 51.5 per cent.

"Fortis is just testing the water with this offer. Had it been serious it could have made an offer Khazanah wouldn't have been able to match," said Ranjit Kapadia, an analyst with the Mumbai-based HDFC Securities, adding that he expects Khazanah to match this offer.

By pitching a higher offer, RHC Healthcare, 49 per cent owned by Fortis and the remainder by the hospital chain's controlling Singh brothers, aims to prevent Khazanah from taking over Asia's biggest hospital group which runs 16 hospitals.


Both Fortis and Khazanah want to use Parkway, which runs hospitals in Singapore, Malaysia, India and China, to spearhead their regional expansion in the booming healthcare market. A successful bid by Fortis may also put a question mark on Parkway's expansion into Malaysia as most of the Singapore firm's operations in the country are carried out through Pantai, in which it holds a 40 per cent stake and Khazanah, the balance.

riya by ravi325.

Khazanah, which declined to comment on Fortis' offer, has holdings mostly concentrated in Southeast Asian financial firms, healthcare and telecommunications. The fund already owns stakes in healthcare firms across Asia, including Apollo Hospitals, a rival to Fortis in India.
"On the part of Fortis, I think their intention is essentially to get a better exit price," Singapore-based UOB Kay Hian analyst Andrew Chow said.

Fortis and billionaire Indian brothers Malvinder and Shivinder Singh have already secured funds for the acquisition, said Sachindra Nath, CEO of Religare, which is also controlled by the Singh brothers and is the strategic adviser to Fortis.
RHC Healthcare and the Singh brothers are offering to buy the shares they do not own in Parkway for S$3.80 (RM8.82) a share, or 2 Singapore cents more than the S$3.78 (RM8.77) offered by Khazanah. The offer price is at a slim to Parkway's last traded price of S$3.57 (RM8.28). Parkway shares are suspended from trading.


Genting - Smells Like X, Looks Like X, IT IS XXXX

How many ways you can say "crap", "screwed", ... Nothing new .. while the company is still working down impairment losses from Genting HK and Walker Digital, here's another dubious one. It seems that any investments that did not turn out well, will be chucked to tap the cash from Malaysian operations.

What is 'untimely' is that they announced a bid recently for the New York racino beforehand, which in my view is a shot in the dark, but stoked up interest before the 1-2 punch. End result: punchdrunk.

Stanley made 6.6m pounds last year but lost 184m pounds for the first 3 months this year, ta-dah...



GENTING MALAYSIA BERHAD (“GENM”)
GROWING BUSINESS WITH UK ACQUISITION

KUALA LUMPUR, 1 JULY 2010: Genting Malaysia Berhad (“GENM”/“Company”) today announced that it will acquire Genting Singapore PLC’s casino operations in the United Kingdom (“Genting UK”) for a total cash consideration of £340 million (equivalent to approximately RM1,668 million).

Genting UK has the largest number of casino properties in the United Kingdom with 44 casino properties, including five located in London. Genting UK comes with established gaming brands such as Crockfords, Colony Club, Maxims, Circus, The Palm Beach and Mint. Crockfords, the world’s oldest private gaming club, has catered to the elite since 1828, while the Colony Club is recognised as London’s most stylish and contemporary casino.

The acquisition is in line with GENM’s strategy to grow its core businesses of leisure, hospitality and entertainment internationally, beyond Malaysia. With nearly 40 years’ experience in the gaming business, an established clientele and strong cash reserves, GENM will be well-placed to reap untapped synergies with the UK operations.

Dato’ Lee Choong Yan, President and Chief Operating Officer of GENM, said: “The acquisition of Genting UK presents GENM with an opportunity to grow, with the resources at our disposal. This acquisition will also provide us with access to established casino brands and an extensive network of casinos already operating across the UK. With our proven track record and decades of experience, we have the expertise to unlock the potential of Genting UK and grow the UK business.’’

The acquisition complements GENM’s long-term international expansion strategy, with plans to enter markets in Europe and the United States of America, where the Company had separately announced that it has submitted a bid for a video lottery licence.

(iv) the SPA is conditional upon the fulfillment of the following conditions on or
before 31 December 2010:
(a) the approval of the shareholders of GENS being obtained for the sale of the Sale Shares;
(b) the approval of the shareholders of GENM being obtained for the acquisition of the Sale Shares;
(c) GWWUK being reasonably satisfied with the results of the legal, financial and taxation due diligence audit conducted on the Acquiree Group;
(d) the approval of BNM being obtained;
(e) the approval of the British Gambling Commission being obtained;
(f) the consent from the creditors/lenders of the Acquiree Group, where required; and
(g) the approval/consent of any other authority/party, if required;



6. RATIONALE FOR THE PROPOSED ACQUISITION
The GENM Group is currently principally involved in the leisure, hospitality and entertainment business in Malaysia with its main focus in the operations of Resorts World Genting, a premier family leisure and entertainment resort at the peak of Genting Highlands. In addition, the GENM Group also has investments in foreign-listed companies and interest-bearing financial securities.

In relation to its core business of leisure, hospitality and entertainment, the GENM Group is looking to expand internationally beyond Malaysia, with a current focus on Europe and the United States of America. The Proposed Acquisition represents a good opportunity for GENM to grow its earnings and revenue base.

The Proposed Acquisition also provides the GENM Group with an opportunity to inherit the legacy of the Genting UK Businesses’ experience of over 30 years in the UK gaming industry, largest network of casinos throughout the UK, established brand names and operating track record.

GENM Group intends to enhance and fuel the Genting UK Businesses’ growth through synergies created from the Proposed Acquisition by leveraging on GENM Group’s strengths. These strengths include the GENM Group’s large Asian clientele, its international sales and marketing strategies, as well as strong membership marketing and data base management.

The GENM Group also expects to be able to further improve the Genting UK Businesses’ operational efficiencies through automation and the sharing of information technology. With its financial resources and vast experience in the leisure, hospitality and entertainment business, the GENM Group believes in its ability to successfully undertake new projects in the UK, through the Genting UK Businesses.

Upon completion of the Proposed Acquisition, the GENM Group will own leisure, hospitality and entertainment businesses in Malaysia and the UK.

(Sooooo, keep it at Genting Singapore la ...) As this is a RPT the controlling shareholders cannot vote, OMG minority shareholders do yourselves a favour, vote properly. Trouble is many would have been so disgruntled that they would be selling the shares from hereon.



NOTE: The above opinion is not an invitation to buy or sell. It serves as a blogging activity of my investing thoughts and ideas, this does not represent an investment advisory service as I charge no subscription or management fees (donations are welcomed though). The content on this site is provided as general information only and should not be taken as investment advice. All site content, shall not be construed as a recommendation to buy or sell any security or financial instrument. The ideas expressed are solely the opinions of the author. Any action that you take as a result of information, analysis, or commentary on this site is ultimately your responsibility. Consult your investment adviser before making any investment decisions.

Paupers in Paradise

One of the most unusual things about working in the travel industry is that you can sometimes experience activities and lifestyles totally out of proportion with your personal wealth, or in this case, lack of wealth.

Many years ago when Judith and I, recently married and poor as church mice, had just such an experience. It nearly resulted in a quickie divorce on the grounds of emotional cruelty as I will explain.

We were in our mid twenties and had an enormous mortgage. I had a relatively junior sales job with British Caledonian Airways working in the head office department that supported their West Africa routes. They had just started operating to Abidjan, the capital of the Ivory Coast and all the operators and hotels in that country wanted a slice of the new business that the service would generate from the UK.

As I mentioned earlier we were broke but, like most airline people (except striking BA cabin crew) we got great flight discounts and perks including free tickets on new routes for ‘familiarisation’ reasons. A very kind and enthusiastic contact in Intercontinental Hotels came up with a complimentary room in their 5 star hotel in Abidjan city centre. This hotel was known at the time as the most prestigious and luxurious hotel in Africa. So off we went to what we expected to be a cheap but heavenly holiday.

It had started so well with a black hotel limousine picking us up at the airport and whisking us to the hotel. Mind you the driver looked pretty appalled when he saw our beat up old cardboard cases and various plastic Woolworth bags. The hotel GM came out to greet us and escort us to a special top floor suite and took about half an hour to explain all the amenities including introductions to our personal butler. The first and last time we ever saw him as I will explain.

When he left Judith strolled over to the fridge and was about to open a can of coke when I picked up the room service and mini bar price list. Stop! I yelled as that drink alone would have exhausted half of our daily food budget. It got worse from then on and we clearly could not manage such food and drink costs In fact it got so bad that we spent some evenings sitting in the bar sipping one beer between us and eating every last free pretzel and pistachio nut in the place. At one stage I ended up sauntering around the coffee shop waiting for someone to leave their table. As soon as they got up we slipped into the still warm seats, ate anything left and ordered a small snack using the tip money that had been left. I still feel guilty about that!

On the final evening of what was a miserable and hungry week the hotel General Manager invited us to dinner at their ‘signature’ restaurant that revolved around the top of the hotel tower. He insisted we try some of their special cocktails before dinner and Judith took enthusiastically to one called a ‘Tipsy Elephant’ which was a lethal mixture of three spirits. These on a half starved stomach could have only one effect. This peaked when the waiter brought out a plate with a fresh, live and uncooked lobster to get her approval before preparing it. To his horror she grabbed the offered lobster, put it on her plate and pulled a claw off. ”Look” she slurred. “It’s undercooked”! I quickly tried to explain that she must have caught sunstroke and wheeled her away as she yelled “I am not going to stay here to be insulted” or something similar.

We thought that would be the end of the nightmare but the worst was saved for the end when we went to check out the next morning. We were presented with our very meagre bill and I handed over my one and only credit card whilst praying we had not exceeded its credit limit. As feared the clerk started looking concerned and kept tapping entries into her computer. She then looked up and said she was sorry but we would need to wait for the duty manager to talk to us about our bill.

We sat squirming for a few minutes and noticed curious glances from various other members of staff who knew about our bill. Finally the manager arrived with a very serious expression on his face. “Do you not like our hotel” he asked. “Yes, it is lovely” I replied whilst trying not to be intimidated. “Do you not like our restaurants”? “Where have you been eating” “Is our food not to your standard”?

By this time I was getting very embarrassed and annoyed as people were beginning to stop and listen. I asked him directly why he was asking us so many questions. “Well”, he said “we have never had any guests who are on our VIP “all inclusive” basis spending next to nothing!

Judith’s head turned slowly and menacingly towards me. “Can you explain what you actually mean by all inclusive she asked. Certainly madam, he replied, it means you could have eaten or drunk anything you wanted free of charge for the duration of your stay in our hotel.

She nearly physically attacked me there and then. I did not know I muttered. Wait until I get you alone she replied icily as her tummy rumbled. I paid for my error over the following months but I learned one important lesson. Never go anywhere you cannot afford and also listen carefully when someone makes you an offer you will not want to refuse.