Neologism - Wit & Sarcasm In Wordplay

My favourites in bold. I would crown LYMPH and IGNORANUS as the champs in their respective categories. I guess my own quick contribution would be:
Singaporn - a place called Geylang
Bras Basah - a really sloppy laundromate, also near Geylang
Bohtea - really slutty girls who really like their chai latte
Parliamentari - the bewildering 'dance' of the blase and blah-blahs

The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neologism> contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words. The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are runover by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.): The belief that,when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:
1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's stupid AND an asshole.

How To Tell Whether An Expat Is Working In HK, Singapore or Malaysia

I think this is ripe for a repost. The first two categories (HK and Singapore was from the site expatspaytoomuch.com .... So I think I better add my contribution for expats in Malaysia.



Accidentally stumbled across a site for expats in Asia. They have a satirical write up on their welcome landing page. Its funny. The site is expatspaytoomuch.com

You know you are a Singapore Expat when:

You forget what chewing gum tastes like. You wear winter clothes indoors and summer clothes outdoors. You think a bus is incomplete without a TV. You say handphone, not cellphone. You order warm water because too much ice water is bad for you. No matter what you're doing at the moment, you'd rather be shopping You are certain that Holland Village has very few Dutch people and is a place for hippie bohemian artist types and overpaid yuppies. Your idea of a good night out consists of having dinner at a hawker centre and then eating again. Durian and belachan no longer stink. You justify every argument with the phrase "in order for us to be competitive in the 21st century". Most of these acronyms make sense to you: NUS, NTU, ERP, SDU, PAP, MRT LKY, GCT, PRC, TIBS, SBS, SMS, JB, JBJ, AMK, AYE, PIE, ECP, ISD, ISA, CPF, CHIJMES, SPG, CWO.

You get annoyed if you don't see a sign telling you how long your wait's going to be for a bus, a train, or the expressway. You think everything should be 'topped up'. You think there is nothing wrong with putting chilli sauce on everything you eat. You think US$1 million is reasonable for a smallish condo, but S$5 for a plate of fried noodles is a rip off.

You know you are an expat in HK when:

You have developed a taste for mooncakes. Your building's security guard is 4x older than the building itself. All your clothes are tailor-made or come from Giordano. You are not surprised to see an 85 year old lady pushing tons of garbage / cardboard boxes up the street. You believe shopping and eating are the only forms of entertainment. You have become a shameless-name-dropper. You have a MontBlanc pen clipped to your shirt pocket. You believe the HK Jockey Club is an honourable philanthropic organisation.

You can tell who is Andy Lau, Jacky Cheung and Hacken Lee. You believe you are really tall when you are only 5' 8". You get offended when people admire your chopsticks skills. You speak enough Cantonese to make your colleagues laugh their heads off. You bring a coat and scarf to fight hypothermia in supermarkets, buses, ferries and cinemas. You are not surprised to find footprints on the edge of toilet bowls. You use the word "Ayyiiieeeaahh" to convey surprise, pain or anger. You are always looking forward to the next Typhoon 8. You think US$2m is a reasonable price for a flat but HK$40 for a plate of noodles is a ripoff.

You know you are an expat in Malaysia:

You think double parking is not really that unconscienable. Everytime you have to visit a government department, you have to take the whole bloody day off. You are so glad to have AirAsia so that you can go to Phuket, Krabi, Bali, KK, Penang for the weekend. You envy the salary packages of fellow expats in HK and Singapore but laugh at their expenses. You worship the sun, but even so, you do not wish to be out in the streets between 11am-3pm. You cannot believe the locals do not use sunblock. You thought OZ was slack but welcomes the most number of public holidays in a single country on earth. You go to the beach but can't bring yourself to swim in it.

You only meet up with friends at Mont Kiara or Ampang. You have never been to Kepong or Gombak. You are not sure if all the girls at Beach Club are really girls. You think the locals drive like failed F1 drivers. You think all Malaysians drive their cars without installing indicator lights. You think crossing the road is Malaysia's national sport. You think Malaysian food is the cheapest and the tastiest in the world. You snigger quietly at how low the rates are for 5-star Malaysian hotels. You think US$25,000 for a locally made car is the biggest ripoff in the world. You couldn't bring yourself to buy a new car at local prices, even though you can afford to, so you end up driving a 5 year old third hand deadbeat.


p/s photos: Rozita Che Wan

No Need For Words!

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Swedish Meatball

I was in New York when the Tiger story broke, at first most people thought that it was a genuine accident and the media was making too much fuss over it. It was unbelievable how many channels were covering the news ~ hypothesis ~ pure gossip ~ speculation ~ridiculous claims ... and what was stunning was all of that generally turned out to be very close to the truth. OMG, even WSJ has it as a front page story.

Tiger Woods is a phenom as a golfer. It seems no one can touch him. When I was playing poker in Sydney Star City, we all got to talking about Tiger Woods making an appearance in Melbourne for a big golf competition. Funnily two of them paid A$650 for a 4 day package to go to the course, mainly to see Tiger play... and one of them was the croupier! The prize money for the winner of that tournament was around A$1m I think ... Tiger was reportedly paid A$3m as an appearance fee. Many may choke with that kind of fee just for appearing, but organisers do make that sum back easily with the added crowd wanting to see him play, the additional media coverage and enthusiasm from sponsors and advertisers.

Most people respect Tiger as easily the best golfer ... ever. Try as you may the trash media has never found much dirt in his personal life. Many thought he just played golf, went home, hit balls as practice for another few hours, go to the gym, does not drink ... where does he get the time to do any philandering? Well, I guess when you really want to, you find the time.

Tiger's will to win may be attributable to a high level of testosterone, somebody should check his level, probably higher than normal. But higher testosterone = higher libido and sex drive = recipe for shenanigans.

As in any newsworthy event that captures the imagination, lewd, silly, disrespectful jokes would spring up like daisies on a pile of manure. Enjoy .... (btw, Tiger, you are still OK in my books ... you at least showed me you are just a guy, fallible and human after all ... after all you didn't fucked with me, go and manage your private affairs and learn to be better and more responsible, cheers.. kop khun kaap). Btw, the wife's name is Elin.

• The police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. "I can't remember," Elin said, "just put me down for a 5."
• PING has a new set of irons called Elins. They're clubs you can beat Tiger with.
• What does Tiger Woods have in common with a baby seal? They've both been clubbed by a Norwegian. (Of course, Elin is actually Swedish. But poetic license is allowed in jokes.)

There are jokes about the affair rumors:

• Did you hear Tiger changed his name to Cheetah?
• Tiger's other women aren't misstresses. They're provisionals.
• Did you hear Nike's new motto? Just do me.

And jokes about Tiger's car crash started surfacing within minutes of the initial reports of the accident, including these:

• Tiger crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.
• What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a golf ball 400 yards.
• Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole-in-one.
• Tiger has a new movie coming out. It's called Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.

• Stephen Colbert: "Tiger always gives 110 percent. That is why he gave 100 percent to his wife and still had 10 percent left over for his alleged mistress."
• Conan O'Brien: "One of the women who claims she slept with Tiger Woods says they never talked about golf while having sex. However, contractually Tiger was obligated to talk about Nike, Gatorade and American Express."

How do you tell Tiger Woods ball's from the other golfer's ... HIS HAS TEETH MARKS ON THEM,,,,,,,

What is the difference between tiger woods and santa? Answer: Santa only has three Ho's!

Tiger Woods was leaving the house, his wife asked him where are you going,,, He said,,,,, I wont be long honey,,,, I'm only going to do 3 holes today,,,,,

Once you have white, you never go black.

Now For Some Accounting Humour!

You cannot really have business and finance humour without hitting on the accountants, so here goes:

Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?
A: When he realises he does not have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.

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Q: Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries?
A: They find bookkeeping too exciting.

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Q. Why do audit firms only have 10 minute coffee breaks?
A. If the breaks were longer, they'd have to retrain all the staff.

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A patient was at her doctor's office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live."

The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?"

The doctor replied, "Marry an accountant."

"Will that make me live longer?" asked the patient.

"No," said the doctor, "but it will SEEM longer."

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A 54-year-old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one evening which read: "Dear Wife, I am 54 years old, and by the time you get this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy eighteen year old secretary."

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows: "Dear Husband, I too am 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Savoy Hotel with my eighteen year old toy boy. Because you are an accountant, you will surely appreciate that l8 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18."

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There once was a business owner who was interviewing people for a division manager position. He decided to select the individual that could answer the question "how much is 2+2?"

The engineer pulled out his slide rule and shuffled it back and forth, and finally announced, "It lies between 3.98 and 4.02".

The mathematician said, "In two hours I can demonstrate it equals 4 with the following short proof."

The physicist declared, "It's in the magnitude of 1x10¹."

The logician paused for a long while and then said, "This problem is solvable."

The social worker said, "I don't know the answer, but I a glad that we discussed this important question.

The attorney stated, "In the case of Svenson vs. the State, 2+2 was declared to be 4."

The trader asked, "Are you buying or selling?"

The accountant looked at the business owner, then got out of his chair, went to see if anyone was listening at the door and pulled the drapes. Then he returned to the business owner, leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, "What would you like it to be?"

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How accountants do it...
Accountants do it by the book.
Accountants do it within budget.
Accountants do it to the bottom line.
Accountants do it with double entries.
Accountants do it between spreadsheets. Accountants are Certified to do it in Public.
Accountants do it without losing their balance.

----------------------------

You might be an Accountant if...

you had no idea that GAP is also a clothing store.

• 
  
during the movie Indecent Proposal you did a NPV calculation in your head.

• 
  

p/s photos: Suzanne Sae

Party Pills On The Rise

Now, read the headline again. That was the front page headline in The Star today. I do find it exasperating to read mainstream media because I always have to categorise them in my mind first as genuine news reporting, or opinions, or half truths or just plain propaganda. Hence reading msm is not an enjoyable task anymore.

I had to write about the headline in The Star today, because you see the word "party" you naturally think its another story about politics. When you read on its actually about designer drugs and drug use among the youth and young adults.

Imagine if it WAS about backbenchers in certain Malaysian political parties!!! I had to laugh when I saw the headline because if its about political parties, ... its damn funny man .... ; ) ... Party Pills On The Rise... of course, you know why they are called "pills"... because they are a bloody nuisance, they are supposedly good for you but damn hard to take, and fucking hard to swallow and to keep down. Now thats funny!!!


p/s photos: Agnes Monica

Demystifying Hell - Exothermic Or Endothermic

I was reminded of the funniest email I got a few years back. It must have made its way a couple of times around the world and re-enter my mailbox again. It had to be a true story because it would take so much effort to think up one from scratch.


The following was an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct.... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.


p/s photo: JJ

Interesting Political & Biz Cartoons

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Why Science & Maths Must Be Taught In English

1. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

5. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

6. Why the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to Make terrible?

8. Why is it called building when it is already built?

9. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

10. If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do Bars have parking lots and car jockeys?

11. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around Several times, does he become disoriented?

12. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?? Human ???



p/s photos: I have no idea who she is, anyone care to help out?

How To Interpret What Your Dealers & Remisers Are Saying

(Ooops!!! Very sorry, I didn't know the chart did not appear for many of you. Now it makes more sense, lol.)

The ultimate rulebook / guidebook for all investors. This chart below will help you to decipher where the market is at by what your dealer or remisier is saying. It has proven to be highly useful in locating where we are in the market trends and turns. Please use the guide diligently to translate what your dealer and remisiers are saying to you. For example in #5 when your dealer or remisier says "I'll use this correction to increase my position", look at the chart and you will know that it means the market is headed for a very big fall. If you look at #8 when they say that they cannot believe that a stock has fallen so much and has to be the absolute bottom, rest assured the chart is there to help you, it means the stock has at another 50% to fall. In example #15, when you tell your remisier or dealer that you have started to buy shares, and they shout back at you angrily "You what!!!??"... rest assured the market will continue a very strong and prolonged uptrend. Please use the chart below wisely.

1 Ah, the price is going up, let's watch the market
2 The trend is holding, I'll buy at the next consolidation
3 Damn! I missed the consolidation, but if I wait any longer, I won't profit from the trend. LET'S BUY!
4 Good thing I didn't wait
5 I'll use this correction to increase my position
6 Brilliant! At this price, let's double it!
7 Ouch. As soon as it goes back up, I'm selling out!
8 I don't believe it! Its down to 8 1/4! Its hit its absolute bottom!
9 OK, let's wait for it to recover - otherwise this will have to be a really loooong term investment
10 What are the SEC doing about this??!!
11 Enough! I'm selling out! And staying out
12 Good thing I sold
13 It's going to tank again anyway
14 Told you so
15 You what???
16 What the hell???
17 More crazies who are going to get taken to the cleaners!
18 This is it! I knew this was going to happen all along!
19 Drat! I'll buy again. It's cheaper than last time anyhow


(Double click on chart for better view)

p/s photos: Lee Ji Ah

Save Those Bloody Cliche Advice!

What are cliches but repeated sayings that may have held some value when it started, but now they generally ingratiates rather than uplift the listeners. Particularly, in the current trying times, when many of us are nervous about potentially losing our jobs, some might have even lost our jobs already, some may be trying the stretch the dollar and failing miserably, some may be having difficulty meeting monthly loan payments of all kinds, others may be watching their credit card payable amounts rising faster than the price of gold .... hence we will try and release some stress by talking it over with friends and colleagues. When your friends tell you their hard-luck stories, don't turn into a Confucius-wannabe or try to be a Zen-master by giving stupid cliche advice. The last thing we all want to hear are the cliche advice, here are my top few most-hated go-fuck-yourself-silly cliches:

a) If its meant to be, its meant to be / Everything happens for a reason
wtf are you trying to say bitch, it does not make me feel any better, in fact its laced with dark humour and sarcasm

b) Money doesn't grow on trees
no shit, they don't grow on the walls as well, neither do they grow on your backside

c) Have your cake and eat it
sooooo... if its my cake, of course I am going to eat it, and since its mine I can surely eat it, ... you mean there are instances when its my cake and I am not supposed to eat it??

d) Do what you love and the money will follow
Well, I have been wanking myself silly for quite a long time, and I am not rich by any means, except my arms have developed decent muscle tone

e) Life wasn't meant to be easy / Life isn't fair
Fuck you too. As if that advice will make me feel better. That is as good as saying my mother must be a woman

f) Think outside the box
Fuck me please.

The More Things Change, The More We Stay The Same

What a difference 10-12 years make... well, not much of a difference really, the more things change, the more we stay the same. Events that happened in 1997 in BLUE; similar events happening now 2008-2009 in RED:

Hong Kong returns to Chinese rule; Hong Kong very happy to be under Chinese rule which basically gave them an economic lifeline

O. J. Simpson found liable in civil suit; Bernie Madoff probably committed a bigger crime

O.J. Simpson was freed later on; The ratings agencies did better, they were never charged and carry on business as usual despite conclusively being deemed as the main culprit for "starting and exacerbating the CDOs by giving them basically fraudulent AAA ratings, and later being so very slow to downgrade the same papers when the horses have bolted"

Nobel Prize for Economics is won by Long Term Capital Management stars Robert Merton and Myron Scholes; Long Term Capital Management collapsed a couple of years later and needed a big bailout by Treasury

President Clinton bars federal funding for any research on human cloning; President Obama bars federal funding for any research on investment banker cloning

HK begins to kill all chickens within its territory to stop the spread of a deadly influenza strain; HK still killing chickens within its territory today

Morgan Stanley and Dean Witter Reynolds announces a $10bn merger; Mitsubishi UFJ bought a 21% stake in Morgan Stanley

Titanic hits theaters — other notable flix include The Full Monty, Good Will Hunting, and L.A. Confidential; Slumdog Millionaire hits the theaters - other notable flix include Doubt, Mamma Mia, Nixon, Red Cliff (read btw the lines on the movies selected)

Ellen DeGeneres outs herself; John Thain outs himself

Eric Clapton wins a Grammy for Change the World; Obama wins the Presidency for Change, Yes We Can

Skynet launched a nuclear attack on mankind; Facebook launched a dumbing down fad attack on mankind

The Dow Jones Industrials hit 7,100; The Dow Jones Industrials hit 7,100.

p/s photos: Misaki Ito

The Parable Of Paternalism

"The combination of excessive paternalism and a reluctance to venture abroad has left Malaysia sticking out as the new poor man of Asean. Its listed companies are generally inward-looking with limited ambition.”

This was apparently an opinion of a foreign fund manager, not exactly positive. The quote reminded me of a story which I heard a long time ago, which now I am going to paraphrase and turn it into my own parable of paternalism, enjoy! Its a bit long, but it’s worth it.

There is good paternalism and the not so good ones; the latter abuses the right in favour of some. This parable is about the dark side of paternalism.

I once visited my uncle in the Isle of Golden Chersonese, it was a nice place, hot and humid, occasional flash floods, natural resources aplenty... in fact very much like Malaysia. He took me around the island state and we had a wonderful time, but by the second day I was feeling ill, probably from my binge on a variety of delicacies.

My uncle said, no problem, ... and took me straight to Hospital Pee-Jay, apparently a heavily subsidised government hospital. At the check in counter, my uncle chatted intimately with the head matron for a few minutes.

He came back and said, we should be able to get in and out quick.

He told me there were three types of physicians I could see, all cost the same €“ traditional medicine department, western medicine department or mental retardation department.

There were three queues, one to each of the respective departments, the longest being for western medicine. There were about 50 people.

The traditional medicine line was shorter with just 20 people, about the same for those suspicious looking types lining up for mental treatment.

Naturally I ruled out the third option, and told my uncle that I preferred traditional medicine as the line was shorter. My uncle whispered to the head matron and she held my hand leading me past the queue to traditional medicine.

I was shocked and embarrassed at the same time. I mean, I was jumping the queue of 20 people in front of me; they must have been waiting for at least 2 hours.

I was concerned that someone in the queue might jump out and curse me for jumping the line. After all, I wasn’t terribly sick, no where near to retirement age and not physically handicapped. But the people in the queue were quiet, some even nodded to me as I passed them.

The doctor treated me patiently and thoroughly, and as I walked back out past the line of people, some even smiled and waved goodbye. My shock and embarrassment turned into a power trip. I remember thinking “Hey, this is cool, I jumped queue and no one even showed me ugly faces... man, my uncle must know some important people here”. It felt good.

It felt so good that I turned to my uncle and said, “Well, since I am here, you think I could also visit the western medicine doctor as well?” Half hoping not to offend my uncle, but he said it was not a problem at all.

We did the same thing again, only this time, the queue was much longer, but the same response I got. I was feeling quite full of myself. It felt like walking on air, exaggerated self-importance is a wonderful feeling I’d say. Heck, initially I felt sorry for those in the queue, but that kinda evaporated by now.

Coming out of the western physician’s office, an outrageous thought crossed my mind €“ why don’t I visit the mental physician too, just for the fun of it. I told my uncle that, and he whispered to the head matron, and off we went, passing each weird looking person in the queue to the mental department.

I looked at each of them as I walked past them, some stared blankly towards the ceiling, another just buried his face in his hands, then there was one with his mouth wide open making squawking noises every 3 seconds. I was almost at the door of the physician when a lady in the queue stepped out, stared me down, stopping me in my tracks.

She was quite pretty too, but there was something weird about her. She was pinching her left arm non stop and drawing circles with her right foot on the floor. There was an uncomfortable silence, I couldn’t stop staring and I didn’t know where to look .... then she blurted out “Hey, who do you think you are.... don’t you need to line up like everyone else ... or are you mentally retarded?” ... and then she gave out this bone chilling laughter that I will never forget. The end.

So, who are you - are you in the queue keeping quiet, why are we in the line in the first place, .... are you the gatekeeper like the matron, are you like my uncle?? Who actually runs the hospital ... and who is the mental one in the parable?

p/s: Fan Bing Bing / plus this will be the last article for Biz Weekly for a while... till further notice... this was written like months back but was kept rescheduled till later and later ... lol... for obvious reasons... ; )