Opposites

A former pastor of ours once said, "You don't know the meaning of 'opposite' until you have three or more children." This ups the ante on the proverb, "There are two sides to every story." Point of view may play out in as many ways as the number of people on the scene. Individuals misconstrue, evaluate, perceive and understand details in varying ways. No two counts of an incident or experience may come out in just the same way between people.

And so, I have two children, both of whom want to avoid trouble for themselves, want to make sure "the other guy" gets his due, and they both seem willing to make sure they blow the whistle on each other at every opportunity, as if I have deputized them in our own little farmhouse law enforcement posse. "He said ... ," "She hit me," "Why can't I have that, too," and a thousand other phrases from the broken records I call my children come at me every day. I tell them that I refuse to moderate, mediate or meditate any longer on their abusive attitudes toward each other, yet they keep trying.

Most people call this "persistent." I call it "stubborn". And they get it from me ... and their dad, though he probably will not admit to it. The difference between persistence and stubbornness seems gray to me. How does one tell the difference? The points of view on every side will twist the explanations, putting a spin on the matter in the direction each individual tends to go. Pushing diligently for a specific outcome in a situation ... persistence or stubbornness? Do we judge the motivation of a person in order to come to a conclusion? How can we possibly, without a doubt know? Might we miss something? Some background information that would tip the scale in favor of one or the other?

Is it any wonder human interaction feels so difficult? Whew!