Aksi 'Surcharges' Yang Terlampau



I don't really mind Low Cost Carriers, its an inevitable part of redoing an existing business cheaper and more effectively.When you slash prices, its business model is then based on pre-selling seats cheaper if you book way way in advance and then the discounts narrow if you wish to fly sooner. You will also enjoy better discounts if you are willing to fly during ungodly hours.

Hence when they introduce a small fee if you wanted pillow, and sell you drinks and snacks on the plane, its a given. Now, its paying to get a nicer seat. Yes, its cutting close to the bone. If you wanted the window or aisle seats, you pay an additional RM5, or the first 5 rows will set you back RM25.

I am thinking what's next. I believe these suggestions should be implemented as well to boost the margins of AirAsia:

a) Toilets Surcharge - RM0.99 for small; RM4.99 for big... like buying 4-D, more clean-up mah when its big.

b) Both Feet Surcharge - If you wish to board the plane using both feet, you will incur a surcharge of RM9.99. Passengers are encourage to hop onto the plane with one feet only to minimise wear and tear.

c) Blackened Windows - AirAsia should totally blacken out half the windows on their planes, that way, you can really charge a huge premium to sit next to a reall see through window. I think RM49.99 surcharge should not be an issue.

d) Standing Room - The last 4 rows of seats at the back should be taken out, and instead introduce a standing room only section. Don't worry standing belts will be provided latched onto special poles and railings. This will work very well for short haul flights, I mean people have no problem standing to watch a football match for over 2 hours, this will not be a problem. The 4 rows may take out 24 seats but the standing room will be able to squeeze in 3x that number. Charge half price, you still come out in front.

e) Stewardesses - Divide the plane into two curtained off sections. The better looking stewardesses will be in one section, and really piss ugly ones in the other. You can see where I am going with this. Yes, RM29.99 premium should not be a problem. Plus, it enhances AirAsia's image as a really equal-opportunity employer, very ugly ones also can work and fly.

f) Arm rests - Take out all the arm rest from the seats. These can be separately purchased at the kiosk in the waiting room for a RM7.99 fee and a deposit of RM19.99. Deposit will be refunded when you return the arm rest at your arrival destination.

g) Super Red Hot Seats - This may or may not be available on all flights. Must check at boarding gates. You get to sit next to single pretty girls (21-30) if they happen to board the same flights. Premium rates apply at RM199.99 per seat and RM399.99 for long haul flights. We know looks are subjective but generally they should be a lot prettier than our stewardesses, and also MAS stewardesses as well.

Its a funny world really.... now flying on a LCC is a lot cheaper than taking the bus. You fly for 2 hours, that's cheaper than traveling on the bus for 10 hours??? That's not just where things are different now, the service on the buses are a lot better than the LCCs. We get DVD movies, blankets, a bottle of drinking water, aircon that's so strong you get to wear your winter clothing (two seasons one trip, where to buy??) .... just don't use their toilets at the back of the bus.

p/s photos: Nasha Aziz

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