BONUS: my husband arrives home from a week-long business trip this afternoon, starting off my weekend with more joy and anticipation than usual. I cannot wait for him to come home; not because I want him to share chores and parenting and regular life duties, but to have him share my everything, in person, without time zones or airline gates between us. It's the overall experience of life with him that I long for.
We wives should long for our husbands daily, to look forward to time with him doing "whatever", and of course, sometimes having special plans to make the anticipation greater. You don't have to have a business traveler husband in order to develop a feeling of "I can't wait". Truly, you can have the same feeling when he trundles to the convenience store for a gallon of milk. It's all in your head.
Yeah, right, you say. I've had friends scoff, having lost the ability to look forward to the husband-turned-grouch to come home or to spend time with him in the silence they have learned to share. At most, they'll share complaints or irritation with their offspring (whose bad behavior stems from their parents' lack of intimacy). I've been there. For years, I suffered (at my own hand, I know now), and now that I have learned to look forward, to anticipate, and to banish the negative I can see if I try to in my dear man. So, nyah-nyah ... if I can do it, you can do it. I dare you.
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1
And consider this. Negative feelings and thoughts, connecting to the bad feelings, and focusing on the poor showing a husband may have offered a wife or family does not come from God. The Evil One plants fast-growing networks of negativity that, if we stay tuned to God and his Word, we know don't belong in our lives. The world will foster our negative trend, but we Christians have a command to shy away from that kind of "everyone does it" activity. Be yourself, for Pete's sake. Be God's chosen by choosing a different path. One that will lead to good.
My friends, my family, and anyone on the planet can cultivate that feeling of butterflies and little smiles that come from thoughts about the man of their dreams (ie husband. Husband always and only and ever. Carve that in stone) ... and it starts right there, in our daydream life. Remember, for females, the intimacy is all in our heads. Our brains have long, twining strands of memory that wind and weave through other memories and experiences, and seriously, some of us have let those strands strangle the life out of the love we have for our spouses. We have connected negative thoughts to him based on how we feel. Once upon a time, our world revolved around that man and we're the ones who changed it. We can reverse that, and it all starts with changing our thoughts and anticipating. Looking forward to him, to being with him - and not only showing it, but telling it. To him!
1 Peter 3:1-5, 7 In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands, even those who refuse to accept the Good News. Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words. They will be won over by watching your pure, godly behavior.
Don't be concerned about the outward beauty ... You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God ... In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat her with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. If you don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not be heard.
When we dwell on the negative, husbands feel and see it happening and withdraw. They turn quiet, distant, sullen, and sometimes explosive in temper, all due to distance of the heart and lack of training of the mind. Keep in mind that love is not a feeling, but a long list of small, thoughtful deeds. It is a short list of bigger things, of course. The little things count most. The little "do for him" things that surprise him, like bringing him a piece of his favorite candy, or leaving him a note telling him something you admire in him.
It's Friday, a good day for looking forward. We have a weekend ahead of us, for relaxing and maybe working, too. At the least, we all have time to spend. Even if yours lasts only a few minutes on the fly, make it positive. Get your brain tuned to the "Anticipate My Husband" channel and don't stop listening. Keep the following in mind as you take this path:
- Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Proverbs 3:3
- You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
- Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
- Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs. Proverbs 10:12
- Two wrongs don't make a right.
- Practice makes perfect.
- Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends. Proverbs 17:9
- You are never too old to learn.
- Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. ~~Song of Solomon 8:9
- Pride cometh before a fall.
Go! Attitude is everything. And report back, please!
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails ...
~~1 Corinthians 13:4-8
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