Creating Ishmael, Not Trusting God

Meet Abraham and Sarah.  Two Old Testament retirees, working through their Golden Years, fully in the know that they have no children to sustain them in their old age.  No descendants to carry on the family line and traditions. Safe in the knowledge that they will not produce offspring.

Always capable of a good miracle, God sends them word that they will, in fact, have a son.  Against the reality of Sarah's inability to conceive, God says, "Yep.  You will."  Sarah laughs.  How silly?  An old woman, not to mention a barren one?  Bear a child?  Impossible.

Sarah doubts.
Sarah feels skeptical.
Sarah turns pessimistic, even after leaving all she knew to travel with Abraham into a strange land, all based on a promise of God. All promises fulfilled.
Sarah decides that to make this promise of God come true, she must devise it in her own way, from her own understanding of her situation.  She is years away from Solomon's guiding wisdom:


Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to him,

    and he will make your paths straight. 

~~Proverbs 3:5-6

These pre-Israelites trusted.  They followed.  They upheld the laws and turned their lives topsy-turvy at a single word from God.

But this time, not Sarah.  She created her own answer to God's promise.  She took her own route in the only way she could imagine conceiving a child:  by giving the job to someone else.

Sarah sends her husband to her handmaiden, Hagar.  Abraham questions this, but obviously doesn't see how a son will come to him without some intervention, either. Surely, he wanted an heir as much as Sarah wanted to provide one. He and Hagar conceive a son.

And so, Ishmael innocently enters the family line on a tangent.  As we may expect, Sarah doesn't like it.  She doesn't like Hagar's son receiving Abraham's attention. She doesn't like the uppity glances from Hagar. And later, when God's promise comes true in the birth of Isaac (a name meaning laughter), Sarah doesn't like Hagar's firstborn taking any time away from her own son, and fears the loss of her son's birth right.  She wants to get rid of the evidence of the plans she hatched on her own and go back to God's way, once she had proof of his promise in Isaac. God grants her wish, asking Abraham to dispense of mother and child to wander the desert. God leads Ishmael to father his own nation, the nomadic ArB nation. Sarah's distrustful plans still exist in the world in the present day, just as sure as the nation of Israel exists.

Have you ever created an Ishmael in your life? Have you sought God's answers and found yourself waiting, only to find a way around God's time and into your own, less lengthy solution?

Sarah didn't trust God's promise word for word. She took her own route to the conception and birth of a son, but wound up with only a lookalike, a manufactured version of God's plan.

I empathize with Sarah. When our first baby miscarried and left me empty and my husband confused and sad, I prayed for a replacement. I felt desperate in my desire to fill that void. The second we had doctor's permission to try again, I made procreation a full-time focus. I researched fertility signs and cycles. I read and formed my own hypotheses regarding the best opportunities to conceive. I scheduled prime conception days on a calendar and tried to pinpoint ovulation to allow for the peak of fertility to grace our efforts. I did all but choreograph our physical encounters.

I created an Ishmael called Stress and another named Marriage Neglect. They were not God's intended plans and I would suffer at their presence in my life for many years before God would send them packing through painful experience. God used them for good, ultimately, but not without ensuring I learned something important from them.

How many Ishmael's can you identify in your life? There are many to "conceive" for 21st Century women, a few of which may be:

- having a biological child, as Sarah wanted (I know this path, and I do not judge those seeking infertility options; they do have their pitfalls)
- active/involved children in society/academics/activities
- having it all (home, family, job, all the perks)
- making sure our families want for nothing
- a worry-free future
- doing more/better than the previous generation
- maintaining a "model family"
- wanting intimate friendship, or a circle of friends
- wanting emotional closeness with a spouse (and not getting it)
- focusing on optimum health/excellent physical being

What drawbacks, pitfalls or discomfort might any of these endeavors cause? Feel free to comment on any or all.

The lesson in Ishmael offers instruction on not going around God's time and not working doggedly so as to leave nothing to chance. Even if we do succumb to our own will above His, God will use our selfishness to carry out His plans, just as He did with Ishmael, David, and other biblical models.

God knows our hearts, just as He knew Sarah's. He knows we may use headstrong notions to encourage outcomes we have prayed for, and while we do need to take action, we need even more to listen and watch with more patience for God's direction.

My Ishmael production has settled down because God's peace has covered those areas well. I do know I have learned the feel of bypassing God's plan an implementing my own. Mainly, I feel an intense pressure and an uncomfortable drive to have or achieve something right now, or at least ASAP.

If an idea comes from God I don't believe His way builds intense stress. I know my way does. When what I'm doing takes all my energy, time, thought, patience and kindness, I am well on my way to conceiving an Ishmael, and I need to stop, collect myself, pray for forgiveness and fir direction on the path God has for me.

Your turn! How do you handle the desire to create an Ishmael? What confusion or frustration have you found as you move through a self-directed process? How do you know you followed an alternate path and what happened to redirect you? Where is your Ishmael, now? Let's learn from each other!




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