I see you pointing a finger in your husband's direction.
You can fool yourself all you like, or you can understand love and get back in business with building it. We all have this choice, just as we have choices in most of life's offerings.
Death and taxes? You have to do those. Illness doesn't allow a pass, either. The weather happens.
But love? It doesn't just happen. It becomes, it builds, it grows, it lasts, but it does not appear out of nowhere. It does not fall like rain, nor does it blow in on the wind. It does not magically show itself from nothing.
Love requires thought, effort, time and action. It can grow out of friendship, it can build from loneliness and need. Love can blossom over time and distance. Love can bridge differences.
In none of these love-growing events does love happen all by itself!
Love grows where you plant it and as long as you water it. Love blooms when you tend and feed it. Love spreads when you share it by doing something for another person.
Love withers when you neglect any of the above. Love seems to die when neglected long enough, but love has a quality about it that gives it the capacity to rejuvenate, to rise from infertile ground and survive. Love can sprout from ashes or reroot itself in new places you haven't tried growing it before. Love can survive dividing and sharing an infinite number of times. Love will grow whenever you use it and do, say and think toward another person. Your husband has potential to receive love from you, but only if you make the thought, effort, time and action to give it.
You can't blame love for disappearing. You can't blame your husband for fading it. You can only lose love when you don't use it.
Use it or lose it. Funny phrase, but oh, so true in love.
Let's use it, shall we?
Hug the man.
Kiss him.
Favor him above everyone else and let him see it.
Pray for him.
Talk him up to your friends ... and in front of your friends.
Compliment your husband.
Make his favorite meal.
Leave him affirming notes. For example, "You are a wonderful provider for our family."
Leave him transforming notes, such as, "Your sense of right and wrong impresses me."
Buy him a small gift that will make him smile.
Dress up for him.
Make a lunch date with him.
Take all the "alone time" you can with him.
Touch him in ways you know he likes, even a simple pat on the arm says much.
Discover his Love Language, if you don't know it already.
When you know his Love Language, speak it.
Watch his favorite sport with him and ask questions about it to learn it better.
Share your feelings with him.
Affirm or validate your husband's feelings by listening and responding in love.
Listen to him and ask questions that help you learn more about him and what he does and thinks.
Learn him well by observing him.
Speak respectfully to him.
Speak respectfully about him to others.
Tell your children about the good qualities they share with their father.
Smile at him and mean it.
Play together -- a sport or a game -- and have fun.
Feel free to add your own ideas to this list, and share them in a comment, if you like. I search for ideas often. Google knows me well for this one.
The fact remains this: Love doesn't get lost, it gets deprived of attention. It shrinks, it hides, it bides its time, but it does not leave or flee or disappear.
You hold the power of love. Pray it out of yourself, because when you don't feel it anymore, you can't imagine going through the motions to fake it. Pray. Pray in earnest, and let God know how hard it feels to give something you don't think you have. He will show you small things to do, and you will find more as you go. The first step is to try.
You do have it. You always have. You need only give it.
Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. ~Proverbs 10:12
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