. 
It's your turn. Step up to the plate. Make the first motion. Take the first step. Act purposefully and passionately. Don't lose time rethinking, start now. Don't wait for someone else to make the first move. Don't wait for all the stars to align and or to get all your ducks in a row.
Be the first one in your marriage to take a stand and work for what is right -- what works for everyone if only everyone would stop following the dangling carrot that the world offers as bait -- which you'll chase forever and never reach. The world's ways change with each new self-appointed marriage expert, each new diet, each new supplement or super-food. You can read every book, try every diet, pop every pill and purchase every piece of produce and still not feel better, or even that you found the road to recovery. Stop searching, honey. The answers are all found by looking up, rather than looking around you.
Take the initiative now and build or rebuild your marriage on a foundation that will not waver and will never change with new building codes or modern ideas of "better". Take your marriage to a place far, far away from the "self help" section of the book shop, from Oprah or Dr. Phil. You can find some good things in those places, but you can't find the right advice all the time.
You know where your knees are. Drop to them, bow your head, humble yourself and lay it all out for God. He wrote the Book, after all, and created the marriage you so desperately want.
Why "Ladies Before Gentlemen"? Simply this. The more I talk with people, the more I read (blog-wise and book-wise), and the more I work to improve my own marriage every day, the more I realize many women have dug in their heels and sit back, waiting for Prince Charming to peel of the "husband" suit they see every day and show himself.
Marriage does not equal "happily ever after" unless you find a way to keep it happy. You can stubbornly cross your arms and tap your foot with a furrowed brow and longing heart (the first three of these are visible, but that man cannot see your heart, much less understand it) and get nowhere. In fact, you can find yourself moving even farther from anything that looks like a positive goal.
So you have to get moving. YOU. No lists or suggestions for him. It's all about you and your motivation to make changes.
You cannot change your husband. You can pray for him, for God to soften his heart to you and to show him areas that he could change (God knows them, you don't need to make Him a list!).
You can change yourself, asking God to soften your heart to your husband, to show you how to minister to his needs (mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually).
You can read and research resources based in Christian faith to guide you, praying all the way.
You can read the Bible (if you don't own one, you can download free ones online such as the Amplified Bible) for marriage and life guidance.
You can resource Christian blogs through online searches that will lead you to Bible passages that will help you.
You can search key words online, such as "how to save my marriage faith" or use "Christian" in place of "faith", or add "blog". Use careful creativity in searching, and pray for guidance as you read.
This all sounds very one-sided, yes? It does, because it is. For now. Stand by your conviction on this. You have a desire for a better marriage, you have a longing in your heart and a brain full of "what if?" You have God on your side in this, and nothing in this world offers more power than that.
The time is now, the waiting is over. Do your part. Keep doing it no matter that you feel no positive response early in your efforts. Pray daily, hourly, and by the minute. Fill your heart with God -- give your heart to Christ ... all of these things happen through prayer and willingness to learn, to try and to change.
Any gentleman knows the phrase, "Ladies first." The door is open for you. Step out and get moving!
Related Articles:
Real Marriage Done Right
Self-Assessment Can Change Your Marriage
Take off the Blinders
Thanksgiving: Be the Change in Your Marriage
How to Talk So He Will Listen; How to Listen So He Will Talk
Linking up this rainy Monday with: Covered in Grace, Quite the Blog, What Joy Is Mine, The Better Mom, Proverbs 31 Wife, Rachel Wojo, No Ordinary Blog Hop
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