She bleaches her teeth, she colors her hair. She tans at a salon, she drinks alcohol at every opportunity. She has a nice car, she has no worries for her future.
She is sixteen years old.
She is the daughter of a family friend. She is on the road to bigger trouble in greater areas, and her parents can't seem to reach her. Counseling falls on her deaf ears and closed mind.
The world has drawn her in too fast, and her parents didn't set many limits early enough ... she always played the "good girl" and earned rewards for her behavior.
When she attacked her father, cutting deeply into his skin with her fingernails, and then swinging at him with her fist, her mother had the forethought to have the police on the way. The girl had insisted she would pick up her brother nearby, though she had been consuming alcohol and couldn't walk a straight line. The incoming officer witnessed the swinging fist and took her to the ground to cuff her.
She is sixteen years old.
Say "no" to your kids. For their own good, say "no." Mean it. Don't let down your guard for a minute. Show them that they have limits, and that the limits exist for their protection, and for their growth into thoughtful, responsible, self-controlled adults. Do not waver in your stance at avoiding alcohol, at not smoking, at not attending boy-girl parties when they don't have the emotions or sense to make proper choices. Say "no" to your kids when they want to skip church, for keeping the path to faith open and the voices of Truth in their ears, they will think a little harder and make better choices the other days of the week.
Give them responsibility at appropriate ages. They won't want to scoop after the dog, or clean the kitty litter, but pitching in with the real dirty work develops character, promotes the care of others, and instills your family values. They won't want to unload the dishwasher or fold the laundry, but completing those jobs will give them a sense of accomplishment and a feeling of caring for family members in a way that they have taken for granted.
Know their friends and the parents of their friends. Know the activities they attend and make the time to see that they are where they say they are. Set a curfew and enforce it. Ground them for breaking it, and make the punishment memorable and fitting to the crime.
Limit your kids' use of electronics. Check their "Contacts" list on the cell phones, have all their passwords and make sure they work. Check their Facebook, and for pity's sake, don't condone lying about their ages so they can have an account before their time. Stand firm.
Have family dinners during the week. Sit at the dinner table. Ask a blessing on the food, share the events of your day. Make them eat their vegetables and try new things. Don't know the drive-thru menus better than you know your recipe box. Give your kids a home life to remember fondly.
Sign your kids up for fewer activities during the year. Stay home and be a family. Watch television together, try to solve the "Wheel of Fortune" puzzles and answer the questions on "Jeopardy", if you can! Play games together. Take walks together. Cook meals together.
Give your kids wings to fly into a promising future, don't give them car keys to a vehicle for which they hold no responsibility except for driving it. Encourage your children to get part-time jobs, to babysit, and to volunteer. These activities teach responsibility, the value of money, and what happens when people don't have enough of it or respect for it.
Say "no" to your kids. You won't regret it. You will regret it if you don't.
No comments:
Post a Comment