Friday Challenge: Do Less

Less is more.
Simplify.
Down-size.
Cut back.
Streamline.
Unscramble.
Cut the frills.
Disentangle. 
Reduce.  

All of these words or phrases mean the same thing to me.  Do less.

I used to be the wife and mom who did more.  Every weekend, with other people's kids and my own, always on the go.  I filled the yearly weekend schedule with fun things.  Purposeful, educational, enticing, don't-want-to-miss activity.  Unless I had a full schedule and planned late into the night and all day for that schedule, I felt I missed the mark.

In the drive to give new experiences to my children, I took away the opportunity to have any experience at all with our family.  Volunteer work or engagement in "field trip learning" on the weekends moved to the front of my mind.  The mark I tried to hit came by way of The Deceiver.

Busyness = Fruitfulness?  BAH!  Live and learn, but if you can, learn from someone else's experience. Here's mine.

My purpose in engaging in these activities felt like a God-inspired assignment.  After all, I helped others have opportunities to do things they wouldn't ordinarily do, like try cross-country skiing and learn how to make real maple syrup.  For years, I found new things to learn, new places to visit, new horizons to open.  I took pictures along the way to document the wonder that filled my world.

And in learning, visiting and discovering those horizons, I managed to forget, miss seeing and lose focus on the importance of doing what's important, of learning about my own family, of growing my marriage and of being God-rooted.
My children enjoyed doing, seeing and learning, but since we've streamlined our approach to home and family, they do, see and learn more in the way God intended for them to do.  They do these things within the safety of our family, under the guidance of two like-minded parents, rather than under the arbitrary decision-making done for whole-group ease of management.

They learn self-control in a parent-controlled environment.
They learn positive self-esteem by having a place to spread their wings without a crowd to watch and possibly judge their attempts at flying into new realms.
They see new things through a lens which we guide them to use.  They see through a filter of love and nurturing, rather than through a worldly, "get what you can and get it first" view.
They approach a values system we have set and can monitor, and then give them more freedoms as they learn and grow and earn more independence.  The world would give them the independence immediately, and learn the pitfalls later.
They think about God's view of their lives, rather than about what other people think about them.  This does not mean they have overcome the world -- that's Christ's work, accomplished for us.  But, they do have a divinely-inspired basis for their thinking, rather than a worldy-inspired one.

As for my husband and me, we have learned to lean on each other.  We used to book-end.  One of us held up one end of life, the other took up the opposite end.

We were distant.  We lost sight of each other and of our contribution to the whole.  Focus on the parts came easier.   Focus on "I" came even easier than that.

To have a whole marriage, a couple needs contact.  Purposeful, focused, real contact on real, and sometimes difficult issues.  Trying to work from opposite sides finds a couple at odds, in turmoil and without clarity and unity of thought, vision and purpose.

Many families experience this, all in the name of making the most of the weekend, and in furthering their lives here on earth with eternity in Heaven seeming like a distant dream.  It stands closer than we think, and our lives here, according to our Maker, require that we work toward that end, not toward a fulfilling life in the world.  We can live in the world just fine, and enjoy the beauty and resources it offers -- from the One who created it.  But we need to refocus, redirect, and simplify our efforts, rather than fanning out individually, trying to cover all, do all, be all.

Do your family a favor.  Do your marriage a great justice.

Do less.




If you have a minute, share with us how you hope to accomplish it.