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We do live in a world of almost constant surveillance, from department store security cameras to on-line cookies and a varied assembly of trackers.
Do you know you have other watchers even more closely tuned in to you? More targeted than an a sniper on eBay, you have watchers. Serious watchers.
You live in the world. You have an audience. You may own the loyalty of people without even marketing yourself. You may receive sub par reviews, in the bargain. You have the attention of dozens, maybe hundreds. You have a word-of-mouth relevance that reflects your actions, words, appearance and perceived attitude. You have an audience for your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self. You make others take notice.You have real-life followers of your life, and that sounds pretty big. It shouldn't make you paranoid. It happens to all of us. Every single person who walks this earth has someone watching at some time ... any time.
Everything you do sits under a microscope at some point, and under a telescope at others. You can't do or say anything without the notice of someone, whether he lives in your house with you (husband, children, extended family) or if he sees you once at a diner off the highway in Albuquerque. Unnerving, isn't it? Makes you think twice about everything you do ... and it should.
Even when you're alone, you're being watched. God sees, remember? We need to always remember His presence, and if we do, none of the rest of the watching will matter. If we take faith and the Word to heart and live it, no one will have a bone to pick, and ax to grind or a judgment to pass.
Ever-present, all-knowing, all-seeing, all-powerful -- knowing what you're doing, thinking, saying and dreaming without you even remembering about Him much of the time -- that's God. That "think twice" thing about everything you attempt comes out again for a Holy audience of One. He knows, sees, hears, and can change the course of your life in a heartbeat.
Earth inhabitant-wise, you represent an example of daily living, of work ethic, of wifely respect and caring, of motherly instinct and guidance, of human frailty and strength, and of spiritual grace and perseverance.
Some watchers look closely at your individuality, hoping to pattern your speech or your fashion sense or your public personality. Some of them peer at your role as a mother, abilities in child rearing and capabilities they perceive in your management of your children. Others may seek to imitate your winning ways in the workplace, from coworker connections to seeking to emulate your client management. Your talent draws those watchers to lean in and look harder.
And if you're married, well, that's a whole new realm to watch. As a "married", you find yourself catapulted into an automatic role model slot for people you know -- and an even greater number of people you don't know. You are a Watched Wife, like it or not!
Your role as a married woman living in the world marks you. Some people want to see you succeed and overwhelm your corner of the world with that success. Others want to see you taken down, especially if their marriage world has crumbled or has begun to suffer cracks in the mortar. Misery loves company. Some stand in the middle of the road, looking on your life as a soap opera and hoping for some drama to liven up their day.
If you have children, you might recognize that watchful attitude and catch yourself saying words like behave, be good, do what's right, do as you should or make us proud. I have even quipped, "Remember, _______ is watching!" Insert Santa, Grandma, significant adult, or God in that space and set them loose. Children usually despise this. They carry this watchfulness with them, full of pressure and child-sized stress. It's called expectation. It follows us all our days, in some form or another.
Some of the watching we receive from others holds expectation; your success or failure, your next move, how you handle yourself and everything around you in any situation. Everything we do holds a measure of expectation. If not, a good-sized group of us wouldn't do very much. We need a little watching, a little expectation in our lives. It gives us a goal and some worth. Someone else needs something and we will supply it.
Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. ~~ 1 Timothy 4:12
Knowing that eyes rest on you for many reasons, most of which you will never know, carries some heavy responsibility. Knowing that even one person keeps an eye on you as an example for living should cause you to measure your steps, your words, your actions and your thoughts more carefully. Those with children know this, but sometimes forget until the children play back our less-than-stellar antics in perpetual repeat mode. They watch our every move and act as our greatest imitators. When they embarrass us, it's usually "us" we're seeing come out in their small selves. They're there in living color to show us we aren't perfect. Sure, we can hush them, but their mimicking of us tells us we need some work.
Our watchers look at our exterior, but they do observe the whole -- what we show out in the world. Should they wonder, "If she does this in public, what worse things does she do at home?" If you're hashing out your husband's sins to your girlfriends, or chastising him at a Bible study (!), what kind of wife are you? You provide a snapshot of your life in everything you do. As a wife, mother, human, you appear as a puzzle to people, whether you're all put-together or if you have a couple of pieces missing. How you present yourself, live out your faith and wife roles -- how you represent God, your husband, and yourself, that people watch.
So, what will these Wife Watchers see? Most likely, they will look for:
- how you speak, act and give of yourself/time/attention to(ward) your husband
- how you handle yourself when your husband isn't near
- what hurdles you face in your marriage and how you manage them
- where you tend to slip up and if you keep slipping in the same place all the time
- whether you face your failures with a smile or with a sneer
- how you judge or accept your husband's differences
- whether you act and speak respectfully or abrasively ... like the help-meet or the head honcho
- how you place blame or accept responsibility in all aspects of life
- what ways of serving your husband you exhibit, and whether you do them joyfully or not
- how much you complain
- how many compliments you offer husband-wise, and how gracious you are all-around
- whether you practice what you preach
- how much God's Word plays out in your reality
- honesty and truth
After each of these points, fill in an imaginary blank with what your Wife Watchers will see. If they look for complaining, will they find grace and forgiveness instead? If they look for how you accept failure, will they see how you learn from it and/or your diligence in working harder? In looking for honesty and truth, will they find a deceitful, truth-altering woman, instead?
In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. ~~Matthew 5:16
Don't hear me saying that you have the responsibility to work yourself silly toward achieving perfection because others learn from you. Do hear me say that looking at yourself with a more critical eye, knowing what God created you to be and to do, and walking along the path he intends for you does matter.
Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. ~~Ephesians 5:1
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