The reasons for keeping mum vary. Sometimes, I don't want to hurt someone else's feelings by sharing mine, especially if I believe they sit at odds and might cause more harm than good. I might keep silent in order to avoid seeming selfish if my feelings have leaning toward something I want. I can clam up because I think a listener may misconstrue my meaning and I hate to have to explain a difficult issue one second longer than necessary. I will remain silent if I believe my feelings may be used against me.
I try for a Poker Face -- hiding my unsure feelings -- and usually fail. Thank God, my husband can read me when my feelings lie at stake. He is far better at poker than I am, but my bids come more easily. I don't often see women playing poker in those high-stakes "professional" games, do you? God made women transparent for so many good reasons. Don't hedge your bets, ladies. Ante up. Go for the win, because in the marriage game, you both win. If any other outcome exists, you're not playing by the Right rules.
I try for a Poker Face -- hiding my unsure feelings -- and usually fail. Thank God, my husband can read me when my feelings lie at stake. He is far better at poker than I am, but my bids come more easily. I don't often see women playing poker in those high-stakes "professional" games, do you? God made women transparent for so many good reasons. Don't hedge your bets, ladies. Ante up. Go for the win, because in the marriage game, you both win. If any other outcome exists, you're not playing by the Right rules.
In marriage, when one of us doesn't share feelings out loud, the other spouse's radar begins to hum. We try to read each other like players in a poker game. One of us wears emotions around on facial expressions, in a tone of voice, in the acting out of attitudes, or just below the surface and ready to bubble up at any time with greater force than needed. My husband sometimes hides his emotional cards. So do I. And, we hide them for all the "right" reasons already noted.
No one who practices deceit shall dwell in my house; no one who utters lies shall continue before my eyes. ~~Psalm 101:7
Share the cards. Stop hiding them, looking up furtively through your eyebrows, hoping to keep your expression or body language from giving away your hand. You will both win if you share.
Everyone who enters a marriage covenant needs to increase his "bids" on sharing feelings. A terrific marriage makes a great "win", doesn't it? Who doesn't want that prize? Like some poker games, marriage stakes run high. They mean so much to each person, and even small missteps can unseat the best players. Poker faces and bluffs fool people.
In marriage, we're not out to confound or disconnect. We're here to find and to connect.
We place bids in the pot by putting our feelings out there and then watching for how our spouse handles what we've offered. In marriage poker, we play to win for both players. When one of us has more in the center of the table the other has the sense to handle it with maturity and value what lies there ... out in the open ... offered in trust.
In a marriage relationship, the more we bid the more we win. How we play matters, and keeping our thoughts focused on the prize at stake makes the game not only more fulfilling, but more purposeful than any other human effort under God.
In marriage, we're not out to confound or disconnect. We're here to find and to connect.
We place bids in the pot by putting our feelings out there and then watching for how our spouse handles what we've offered. In marriage poker, we play to win for both players. When one of us has more in the center of the table the other has the sense to handle it with maturity and value what lies there ... out in the open ... offered in trust.
In a marriage relationship, the more we bid the more we win. How we play matters, and keeping our thoughts focused on the prize at stake makes the game not only more fulfilling, but more purposeful than any other human effort under God.
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