Taking a Pinterest Approach to Marriage (and why it bogs you down)

mediamerging.com

Yes, I have a **Pinterest account. It's a girl thing, from the looks of most of it.  Like a "forever" shopping cart.  

It's right up my alley, Pinterest is. I'm an idea girl. If I see it and like it, I can usually reproduce it. I'm a terror at craft shows, not usually making purchases but deciding how to make an item myself and laying plans for it as I peruse the tables full of handmade wares. Pinterest lets me shop, take notes, find directions and add to my list of things to do.

Pinterest plays to the "I want" feature in each of us, even if we have it under a fair amount of control and have learned to admire rather than to envy. Pinterest allows me to find things I never knew I needed, similar to what happens when I shop. I can fill my cart with items, but I don't have to commit to any of them. And, with Pinterest, I can keep the items forever and not have to put them back on a rack before I leave. The best of both worlds.

It's hoarding with followers. As in my real-life recipe collection, in which I have more recipes clipped and meticulously crammed in a binder than I will ever cook or bake, I have pinned 119 dinner recipes, 169 "sweets" recipes (you see my focus, eh?), and 90 recipes in smaller categories. I have actually used 10 or 12 of of these. In 18 months.

This activity hurts no one. I don't throw money away on any of it. But, I don't make good use of it. That's not good stewardship, in my book ... in God's book, either. He calls us to use what we have, and to use it wisely and properly.  When we have placed the ideas in a folder, on a stow-away board or in a hidden shopping cart, we get them out of sight ... and out of mind.

Remember Peter's words:

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace:
 ~1 Peter 4:10

Where I'm going here is here. If you have found yourself in the middle of a muddled marriage, you know you need something. You probably want a fast fix, but the possibility of that seems slim to none. The mess didn't happen overnight and the clean-up will take some time and hard work.

You can handle that.  You begin to search sources of help, whether on-line or real-world.  You begin to shop for assistance.

What makes the muddle more muddled comes is the multitude of ideas, suggestions, helpful books, insightful articles and terrific Bible studies that make you feel motivated to make changes, to try a particular way of addressing an issue you have with your husband. You feel a rising hope inside you after discovering what feels, in every way, like the perfect avenue to take in order to get you and your spouse on the path to oneness again. You read articles and book reviews that give you some great steps to take to make the changes happen and to direct your path more surely than you feel you can do on your own. Even the photos and graphics motivate you to try.

And then you wait.

Several articles, suggestions, ideas and studies later, you continue to wait. This is the Pinterest approach to marriage. Collect it, and it ... may ... happen.  You may forget about that hope-filled idea or that oneness-growing strategy as you bury them in a slew of other "looks good" affects that you will get to one of these days.

Do yourself a favor and do your marriage a service -- pick out the most eye-catching, do-able tidbit from the mass of your collection and act on it today. No more collecting.  Sift your ideas through a God filter ... match them with scripture.  If they don't match, toss them.  If they do match, prioritize them.

Make yourself a short list of quality possibilities, and then do something!

**Disclaimer:  I really like Pinterest.  I find it very useful for collecting ideas for remodeling we want to do at our house, for terrific recipes (my goal = trying one or two each week, successful so far!), and for some terrific Bible verses/quotes that have helped friends, relatives and myself with struggles.  I like Pinterest, and have no intention of relinquishing my membership!  This post does not effect a bashing of the Pinterest model in its truest form -- a place to share and glean ideas.  I hope only to compare the storage method with our marriage needs.  Thanks for understanding!

P.S.  I know commenting is hard, especially if you think you're "talking" in front of hundreds of people.  Please don't feel intimidated -- I'd love to hear from you.  Your experiences, thoughts and hopes motivate me.  You give me ideas both for my own marriage and for writing.  Thanks to those of you who have commented and e-mailed.  Contact information is always available in the tabs at the top. Thank you for your willingness to correspond!